NON-KOALA SECRETS PART I

Okay ... so I'm really foking bored ... like REALLY REALLY FOKING BORED!
I was lucky enough AND unfortunate enough to find secrets from anonymous people.

Some of these secrets are really funny, but like with every thing good there is bad. So that means ... THAT SOME OF THESE ARE THE MOST FOKING STUPIDEST THINGS THAT I HAVE EVER READ! Okay, all of these secrets are text on a picture ... and some dipshits put hard to read text ... therefore I will type out most of these instead of linking pictures ... I'm pretty sure this subject will span for a couple of days ...
So without further adieu ... on with the secreting ...

This one made me laugh.


"I have an imaginary boyfriend.
He's like my guardian angel. He talks to me when I'm lonely ... and can always make me smile when I'm sad. He's my best friend in the whole world ... and so much more. He's perfect in every way. I am so in love with him. I don't want anyone else in the whole world. If only he was real ... I've convinced myself that we'll meet someday, because we're meant to be together. No one else knows about him ...
The worst part is ... I'm turning 21 next month."

... You know ... I have TOO much to say about this ... I'm not even going to start with how stupid this sounds ... just GAH PEOPLE ARE SO FOKING STUPID! Now I hope some of you dipshit mother fuckers understand why some MOST people piss me the FUCK OFF GAH! NEXT FUCKING SECRET! Dicks man ... just complete fucking dicks ... (btw ... cussing is my way of venting it really does wonders try it some time)




I just LOVE this one!


"Every time I masturbate, I feel a pain I can't describe.
Is it pleasure from an orgasm?
Or guilt from a sin?"

You're probably just doing it wrong ...




That's no secret. That's a fan-syndrome.


"Sometimess ... I WISH that I had some fatal disease ...
Just so I could see who CARES."

Everyone likes you when you're gonna die. You know why? CAUSE YOU'RE GONNA DIE! I'm pretty sure they'll forget about you in a few years after you've died. But if you died, you wouldn't be able to see who cares. If you want attention, go run down the street naked. Better yet, go try committing suicide, be hospitalized from blood loss. Oooor go become anorexic or bulimic, get all malnourished and be hospitalized. Go for Anorexia or bulimia, cause I'm pretty sure the reason people don't care about you is because you're 20 pounds over weight (this is total sarcasm for you dipshits that wouldn't know sarcasm even if it came up and pissed right into your cereal in front of your face). At least with a suicide attempt or an eating disorder you'd be alive to see who cares.


"I'm scared I will lose my twin sister when we die. We have agreed to die together. But I don't think that we will be able to stay with each other afterwards."

Sister complex? Are you a devil worshipper or something? The other way around?
This is the type of person that pisses me off ... worry about your problems at hand instead of worrying and emoing about the oh so ever mysterious future that you will have. You may die tomorrow and you spent all of yesterday emoing about you and your sister not being together after death. Way to go dick-fuck.




Ha ha, that picture with that secret ... just priceless man.




If this is a picture of a girl ... it looks like a guy due to the shadowing
yayness for pseudo-wang ... maybe pseudo ... o.O



"PIERCINGS ARE MY LIFE. If you don't have them I wont even look at you."

I guess you won't be looking at me in public then ...
if you get my drift ...



"My boyfriend of two years lives five states away and we've never met."

This is another one of the things where I have SO MUCH I want to say ... but I can't because I don't even want to waste my time getting into it ...



Okay ... I think that's enough for the first installment ...