Okay you bitches and hoes I am back with part three!
These are seriously becoming harder to rant about, why? Because most of the secrets are the same.
Ex: "I cry myself to sleep everytime I think of you because I can't believe I let what we had go."
"I still love you even though I know you're with someone else."
"I don't think I'm pretty enough for you even though you tell me I'm pretty"
Those ain't real secrets, they're just example shits, but they're so fucking annoying! It's either about love, cutting, being fat, being anorexic, or wanting to be sexed up.
This issue really doesn't really contain any rants ...so if you were looking forward to me calling people I don't know fucktards and bitches it's not really happening. Most of these are secrets from people that desperately need to get laid and are too horny. The others not about needing to getting are secrets that I thought were funny. Intro -out.
WTF ... this isn't a secret! This is a panel from a webcomic! I forgot the name of it, and I lost the link ... but when I remember I'll come back and put it in.
Maybe it will turn into love after you've bedded them.
"At my cousin's wedding tow years ago, as the priest said, 'speak now or forever hold you peace,' I had this urge to scream out, 'no Jon! Don't marry her! Marry me!'
I don't know why. I'm not attracted to him, and up until a few months before the wedding I was convinced that Jon didn't like me."
Good thing you didn't or else you'd have looked like an asshole.
"Sometimes i think I'm crazy because i have a feeling that i am really someone special who will save the world when it's almost too late.
I think I'm meant for something greater than this ... either that or I'm insane."
Everyone feels, or has felt, the same way to a certain extent. People are constantly trying to figure out life's meaning. That's why we have/had all them damned philosophers. But I so totally feel the same way. I feel like I'm the next virgin Mary or something.
"I hate my cousin for the things my grandparents have been able to experience with her. They've been there to see her graduate from high school, college, get married to her high school sweetheart, and now give birth to her second son.
I'll be lucky if they live to see my high school graduation next year.
I know it's not her fault she's nine years older than me, but I still resent her for it."GAH! Another stupid one! I'm am going to try and cut this down rant to be sweet and short because I know that if I say all the things I want it'd be chaos. This is sooooo fucking stupid it's not even funny. I think this person should just be happy by the fact that their grandparents have been in their life while they were growing up. Some people don't even have any living grandparents. Just be thankful and shut the fuck up. If you want to blame anyone, blame your parents for waiting so long to have you. Or blame your grandparents for having your parents too late. 
I just find the secrets where people wish they were raped, or that something bad had happened to them are really funny. I don't know why, but it's just funny. I don't even want to start thinking of the problems this person must have, so I'm stepping off the train at Humorsville. "I create absurd situations and fantasies in my head. Now I'm hoping some of them come true. For example, I imagine myself to be in a purely sexual relationship ... except that we both hate each other. Even though I'm a virgin and I've never had a relationship with any guy. And I'm so lonely I wish it were real."Okay, LMAO ... this is just too funny, yet fucked up. See, I create absurd situations, but I use them for the movies I will make when I become a movie director. But for shit, people need to stop being so damned horny. Go out find a guy who's desperate for some sleep on too. I'm pretty sure any guy would be willing to take up your offer on a purely sexual relationship. It's called "friends with benefits." Then the fact that you're a virgin, that's woah extra brownie points. 
Just thought this was kinda funny ...
LMAO The reason why you may think it's "sexy" is because you think it resembles a phallus.
Ha ha, okay my first thought was, "Woah, them condoms look like nipples for baby bottles." then my other thought was, "Do they really come in that many colors?"
"I would gladly do or give anything to have sex with my best friend, Even though he lives across the country and I am currently in a relationship.
Not only that, but I'd have sex with my other friend too. Just because she's told me she's a virgin and I have a thing for virgins even if they're not exactly my type."
Hmm ... seems like I found someone for the virgin who just wants sex.
"When my brother and I were younger we played house in my neighbors backyard were not even the neighbors could see us. We used a cinderblock as a toilet & never cleaned it up."
OMG! HA HA NOW THAT IS A SECRET! I mean come on! Little kids shitting in their neighbor's yard. That's funny! If I did that I know for shit I would not even tell anyone about that. But I supposed it'd be fun if it was just me an my brother and we're like drinking or something and be like, "Hey, remember the days when we'd shit in that cinder block?" I don't blame you for not cleaning it up. I wouldn't have cleaned it up either. They neighbors probably thought it was a stray dog or something. But man, this is a great secret. Ha ha cinder block ... ha ha
"I hope I one day get the oppurtunity to FART
In an elevator full of people."
I see you have big ambitions and dream for yourself.
This reminded me of Kairi LOL
The end of Secrets Part III ... Will there be a part IV? *eerie music plays*
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