KOALA PLAGUE

Ummm ... so I was like watching this movie called The Plague and I didn't even get past 15 minutes of it.
Shitty batshit movies are just shitty.

Actually, it was called Clive Barker's The Plague, either way it still sucked like a plague.Generally speaking, if the first 5 minutes of a movie includes a bunch of comatose kids wriggling all over the floor due to seizures, that's not a good sign. The movie was a bit interesting at first. There was this "plague" that affected all the kids around the world under the age of nine. This plague or whatever put all the kids in a vegetative state. 

Ten years later, this shit is still infecting children and governments are enforcing the use of birth control because they don't want to add a billion more vegetables. There is no sign of anything changing for the infected kids and they just sit there doing NOTHING. Most of them lay around in beds hooked up to IVs in their school gymnasiums with nurses baby sitting them. Some of the kids, now teenagers, are sitting at home being spoonfed by their parents.

Then it dawned on me, this is going to be some shit-ass zombie movie. I had feared this at first with the modern day setting and the catatonia, but shit man, a girl can dream! Really now, I thought this movie would have busted out some medieval ass vampires during THE PLAGUE -- THE BUBONIC PLAGUE, but alas, my dreams were not meant to be ... That's the last time I'm inferring what a movie is about by it's title and short misleading synopsis.

This is what my tv told me the movie was about: 
Left comatose for ten years, teenagers awaken to possess strange powers and a thirst for blood.

Yeah, the red flares should have gone up there. Most movies involving teenagers are shitty. I really hoped that the whole 'camatose for ten years' thing was really incorrect information. Really, teenagers/ten years of comatose should have been the signs that there wasn't going to be some elegant blood thirsty undead sexy beasts.  

Unfortunately 'thirst for blood' was the incorrect information. 
I BELIEVED IN YOU!  ... Fucking shit should have said brains NOT blood!  >O


I'm just glad that I stopped watching that shit before I actually got to the zombies.
I need no further warning after seeing a catatonic teenage boy with dark circles around his eyes being spoonfed by his weary father. I would have been fucking retarded to keep on watching after that. 
Zombies are so not sexy. 

I feel fucking stupid now ...