mokona: (Default)

I'm going to be gone this whole weekend. My mom is having me take some test for the state. I don't even know why she wants me to take it. I have to hear her baw about how the state cut two days of pay every month. This test is for the position of an Office Assistant.

I don't even know why they have people take a test for the position of an Office Assistant. Unless they've had morons apply before? All I know about the test is that it's some easy stuff. I'm pretty sure a 7th grader could pass it. That's another thing, my mom is telling me to study for the test. I'm like alskdjlakjsdlk how the hell do I study for some test I know nothing about.

I don't remember anything telling me about what would on the test during the application process. I just know that when my mom was preparing to take her Office Technician (this is next level from Office Assistant) test she stole my high school exit exam study guides. Not like I needed them because an 8th grader is able to pass that test and we take it in 10th.

Anyway, I'm just more like wtf over this whole test business. I've tried doing what my mom has told me before. She told me to apply for Six Flags, I did. I was hired on the spot and then I get the news that they're only open on the weekend in the fall and winter. Now I'm going to take this test, pass, and then I won't hear anything back about job position until like 3 months for now. My mom told me that it takes 4 to 6 weeks to get the results back from the test. This whole thing is ridiculous.

I think the real reason why I'm bothered about this whole thing is that we're staying at her friend's house for two nights. It's going to be extremely awkward. Then my mom is telling me that if a position opens up near where her friend lives and I get hired that I could move in with him so I'll be closer. That's just really really really weird.

I'm thinking my mom just wants to get rid of me or something, which she can't. Believe me, I'm in the same boat as her. I want to GTFO out of this place but I can't because I have to baby sit my mom. I can't fucking wait until I get to move back to my grandparents' house. What would be even better would be getting an apartment with my friends. The latter is probably never going to happen but I can dream!

mokona: (Default)
First I want to start off by saying -- FUCK THAT SHIT annnnd I DON'T GIVE A FUCKING DAMN. 

Short overview:
I was marked off the appointment sheet.
I wasn't officially marked off because the teacher has to OK it. 
I didn't know this but I informed the rececptionist that I was no longer taking clients. 
Teacher gave me absent person's clients.
Teacher sucks, clients sucks, they're all on crack. 
I left. 
Not enough people to take clients. 
I'm a bitch, yeys! 

All the facts told from my point of view but not in order of the overview:
You know, my class isn't so bad. I'm only there for 6 hours a day, five days a week, and I have to stay there for 600 hours and complete various credits, booklets, and modules. Once we've completed all our credits on that ugly little yellow timecard we can be taken off the appointment sheet. We can also just be scheduled for wax and make-up only if we we're not finished with those credits when we complete our facial credits. I happen to be in the latter category.

Last week I had asked Marii to mark me off the appointment sheet and that I wouldn't be taken any clients. I had my shit taken care of. I figured that I have enough of those scary ass diagrams in the stupid make-up booklet to complete for my make-up credits, so I'm cool on that. I'm not lying either, I'm avoiding those diagrams as much as I can. Scary diagrams are scary. All the drawings of those faces on the diagrams look like ladies that are/were coked out and are/were in prison. Scary ass shit man, I get nightmares when I look at them. You better thank god that I don't have a scanner cause I would have totally put pictures of that shit for all of you to see. Well ... I think the nightmarishness of it would break my computer so I am also thankful that I don't have a scanner. 

Getting back on topic ... I also have four more waxing assignments in my senior module and I think it would be enough for me to complete my waxing credits. If not, I can use the wax in my kit, or the wax Betsie left for us to use, and do a quick eyebrow or upper-lip wax on somebody in class. Since I just want to focus on those make-up diagrams, waxing, and senior module, I wanted to be completely taken off the appointment sheet. However, Elena, Anabel, and Evelyn didn't show up for class. Mrs. Railey gave me Evelyn's clients. FUCK THAT SHIT so I left when the client came in. 

Frankly, I'm fucking DONE -- D - O - N - E -- DONE with clients all together until I work in a salon and get paid for being treated like crap and dealing with psycho clients. I don't care if there aren't enough people to take the clients, it's not my problem. I know I'm being a bitch and totally selfish but I'm not getting paid for this. I gain NOTHING by taking this client. The last two weeks of Febuary I had some crazy ass clients who wanted to change in the middle of clinic, complained about a water-based gel mask being too cold, complained about the room being too cold, complained that they were running late then they bust out a curling iron after their facial to do their hair and etc. etc. etc.  

I've been taking clients since mid-November and I started my class mid-August. I just want to hurry up and get my ass out of this fucking class. Thanks to the vacations it's taking me longer to complete the class. The teacher isn't bad but she's crazy. She's just so scattered brained and doesn't really inform us about what we're supposed to do and what's going on. 

I just found out today that we have to ask the teacher if we can be taken off the appointment sheet. Marii told her that I asked to be taken off, and bless Marii because she marked me of for this week and next week. However, Mrs. Railey told Marii AND NOT ME that we have to ask her first to be taken off. WTF IS UP WITH THAT SHIT?! Why couldn't she have just come to me and confronted me about wanting to be taken off the appointment sheet? She knows I want off and I'm clearly marked off, why can't she accept that? 

It's not even a matter of her not knowing that I've completed my facial credits. She signs our timecards EVERY single damn night. It would have taken her not more than 1 minute of her time to look and my facial credits and acknowledge the fact that I've completed them and then bring up the topic of being marked off the appointment sheet. This is fucking crazy, she expects me read her mind and know about all these damn unwritten rules which she may or may not have told us about. If she mentions that it's in the Skin Care Policies then FUCK YOU BITCH. The last time I read that was mid-November when I transitioned from being a freshman to a senior. I don't need to remember those useless policies because it mostly talks about when you're at the desk playing the part of the receptionist. It doesn't take much effort or direction to pick up the phone and schedule people. It's not hard, I don't even understand why there are policies about answering a fucking phone. 

I was talking to Crystal about it too, and she told me not to worry about. She did agree with me that there's all this shit about these rules that we don't about because Mrs. Railey doesn't even talk about it. We were also joking about how it's hard to talk to her in the first place. Most of the time she's doing something, giving a lecture to the freshman, and whatever the hell else she does. Sometimes you'll go to her and ask her a question and she'll just hold a finger up to you and tell you, "In a minute, I'm busy." Then you're like ooookaaaay wtf ... then she never gets back to you! There's also times when you ask her something and she'll have a blank look on her face and she's not doing anything and she'll tell you, "I'm not listening. I'm not here right now." WHAT. THE. FUCK.

I made an example and said that if I was to stab Janice (no hate against Janice, she's cool and we pick on eachother but I just said her name since she walked by) and she's bleeding all over the place and needs medical attention NOW that Mrs. Railey would just say, "Oh, tell me later. I'm in the middle of doing something. Write a note and leave it on my desk." and then Mrs. Railey wouldn't even get to note until five hours after the incident. My note that I left would say, "I stabbed Janice. Going to jail, cancel all my appointments. I'll come back in 15 years. Although, may possible be 25 to life, I'll give you call." I'm just a bit worried about tomorrow, hopefully Mrs. Railey will forget all about it. Crystal told me she'll forget about it five seconds after I've left. We now have a nickname for Mrs. Raily -- The Goldfish. Our teacher is just that bad and it really sucks. 

Damn, I'm fucking addicted to Suicide Kiss by Rolly. GET OUT OF MY HEAD! The song is eerily addictive.
mokona: (Default)

So right now I just got an email regarding my status of going to Germany. Since I've been logged onto MSN for a while I got a new email notification.
It's strange ... I though for sure that I was going but I guess not ... maybe I was too cocky about the whole thing. But this is what the email said:

"Dear Applicant:

A decision has been made on your application for the Congress Bundestag Youth Exchange Program for the 2007-2008 year. Please see the attached letter to check your decision status. Contact me immediately if you are unable to open the document attached to this email. If you have any questions about the decision, please contact: blahblah (contact information has been cut)"

Right ... so I looked at the name of the file "CYBXNotificationLetter2.pdf" ... notice the "Letter2" portion of the file name ...

The funny thing is ... just as I was checking email the song The Final by Dir en Grey started playing ...

After my interview that I had two week ago they said that they would contacting people who applied in the weeks of early April. I kind of knew not to expect any good news since it is not April and they're contacting me ahead of time. Then there was that "Letter2" part of the file name then The Final started playing ... signs of bad omens ... Just as I suspected ... I only read the first line of the letter saying that I was not chosen and I stopped reading it. Yup ... that's it ... the. end. no. Germany.

I have more stuff that I want to type about my thoughts and feelings about this but I fear that this blog entry will be emo LOL ... and I'm also too lazy to type the rest of what I want to type XP and now I am reminded why I rarely do blog entries, takes too much effort lol
FOK Now I need to tell my mom and my grandparents and all my lame ass friends who don't read my blog that I wasn't accepted -__- fucking bums READ MAH BLOG!

Here are lyrics translations and a link so that you can listen to The Final so that you lame people who don't listen to Dir en Grey can understand the nature of the song and why it's really ironic that it started playing just as I opened up that email lalala click on the title of the song for the link to download

"The Final"

The intention is clear, I stare, with this left hand, unable
to be worded
Every time I bleed, there lies the reason to live ... And I
discover words being so vivid and bright

Even loved ones scatter like petals from flowers in my hand
So even if I engraved the meaning that I lived in my hand, it
will only be known as flowers of vanity

The Final

One by one it multiplies ... why be a sad bait?

Deep within the hell of my heart ... I can't go back
A self-torture loser, not being able to see tomorrow
Suicide is the proof of life

Even loved ones scatter like petals from flowers in my hand
So even if I engraved the meaning that I lived in my hand, it
will only be known as flowers of vanity

So I can't live
What's lost can't be born again

A song that's not even seeking the proof of living
Let's put an end ... The Final

Let's bloom flowers of attempted suicide.

mokona: (Default)



Right now I am sick S I C K sssssiiiiiiicccckkk
My throat hurts like a bitch. It hurts most when I swallow. It hurts when I don't swallow. It hurts when it is not doing a single fucking thing. Although, it hurts less when I talk and it's really ironic because when people hear me talking they tell me to stop talking and assume that it's really painful for me to talk. The good thing is that I've finally stopped feeling light headed and shit, maybe I can catch my pimpah tonight.

My internet has been having mood swings the past week! A few days ago it refused to work unless I reset the router and restarted my computer. A couple days ago my internet just crashed. Since I have AOL I tried to use the dial-up. I was able to get online for a couple minutes, literally, only to be kicked off. After being kicked off some message popped up saying that I don't have dial-up provided to me because I'm not registered for it. Whatever, that's cool, dial-up sucks anyway so that means I have to get on Verizon's ass to fix my DSL.
I do some homework because I have school the next day and I decide that I will do my internet assignments later. I call tech support and I'm on hold for about half an hour. WTF HALF AN HOUR?! I hang up, decide to call back in an hour and do more homework. An hour later ... I call and this time I'm hold for about 45 minutes ... During the time I was on hold I was getting this message about every 3 minutes telling me that my approximate wait was five minutes. When I do finally get someone to talk to MY PHONE DIES! AH SHIT! So I decide to ... you guessed it! DO. MORE. HOMEWORK.
I attempt calling again, third time is a charm you know. I'm on hold for about 45 minutes again, with the same five minute message shit again ... I'm on the phone with tech support person for about an hour and the problem was ... well they couldn't figure out the problem. According to the tests they ran, I was getting the signal from Verizon and there was nothing wrong with my lines. They told me that if my internet did not come back up within two days to call again. In conclusion, my internet was up and running twelve hours later, yay! Since I was sick I didn't really use my internet.

Those are the two major things I am emo right now, internet bitchiness and being sick.
Now on to the minor things ...

Birthday Issues:
It was recently my birthday and now I am XX years old ... which makes me really sad. This also pisses me off because my mom didn't even come by on birthday. She could have sent me a birthday card. She sent my brother some money and clothes on his birthday last month ... where be mah loot?! Hell, she didn't even have to send me a card, it could have been a piece of toilet paper that said "Happy Birthday" written with some unknown substance. My mom also had plans to go out a week after my birthday to go out and do something for HER FRIEND'S BIRTHDAY. WTF THINK OF THE CHIRREN! I COME FIRST MEEEEEEE *pushes skank out of the way* It was my birthday first ... well not technically since her friend is older, but day wise mine was first and my mom has known me longer ...

Financial Issues:
I need one of those things that has three letters in it and starts with a J because I need money. Screw the job, I just plain need money. My mom owes me $200 (OZ 256.36), and my brother owes me $175 (OZ 224.31). I also spent $165 (OZ 211.50) in the course of a week ... fuuuuuuck I also owe my friends money since we took sticker pictures and I feel like I owe them some money but they said it was fine ... I think I also have to do taxes this year FUCK I ONLY HAD I JOB FOR ONE FUCKING MONTH IT'S NOT WORTH THE TIME!

Issues cause I say they're issues Issues:
I recently bought two magazines, volume 41 and 37 of Cure. When I'm looking through this magazine it makes me really emo for a couple reasons:
1. I cannot read it because it is in Japanese.
2. All the stick thin J-rockers make me feel more fat than I already am.
3. The magazines were so expensive for being magazines!

I am so behind in my school work ... I have about two months left to complete 25 units of crap I don't even know WHAT I have left to finish blaaah I also didn't turn in the required amount of work from last or this month so I may be kicked out SHIT I was unable to catch up this month because I got sick and I wasn't able to go in on my scheduled day or the make-up-work day I AM SCREWED

I had my interview for the Germany shit ... I hope they don't find my blog ... good thing I gave them my hotmail address and not my AOL address ... The interview was over the phone and I was so nervous! I had never done a phone interview before. I'm sure I would have done much better if it was person. I really hate phones ... they're so ... blah and I was on speaker phone ... which I also hate ... I had to ask them to repeat what they said sometimes because I really can't understand what people say when they are on speaker phone. On a couple of questions they asked I replied with, "I'm not really sure." Yeah ... great answer ... I suck ...

My grandpa is having surgery on the 15th or 18th ... I'm not sure because my grandma sucks at relaying information ... Okay so this isn't really something that's making me emo I only put it here to add for dramatic effect >.< I really don't care about the surgery ...

Vic Mignogna is going to be doing Fai's voice! WTF NOOO HE'S GOING TO RUIN THE GAYNESS OF FAI! On the other hand ... serves him right! Do research on characters that you're auditioning for. Even though CLAMP will leave the Fai and Kurogane relationship obscure, it is so there, if not, then there is always King Ashura. Ashura and Fai so had something going on, or else Fai wouldn't have been so emo about sealing up Ashura. There was also a part where they had gone to a different world and the other Ashura kissed Yasha. That part was sad ... they (Ashura and Yasha) were lovers but they couldn't be together because their followers didn't believe the same things ... but yeah ... The geiness in Tsubasa Chronicle will be gone since Vic is on the cast ... At least the gei will only be missing from the English version!

The end!

Note to Shorty: FUJI PWNS

Speaking of Fuji ... Okay fine, forget it, the post is long enough. -__- meanies ...

mokona: (Default)

Too lazy to type some stupid intro crap about the confessions ... so here you go

I confess that ...
... I once cheated on a spelling test in second grade -- the word was 'elephant.'
-- There was a book sitting on my desk that had 'elephant' in the title. Coincidences like that shouldn't go to waste.
... I was never able to brush my hair on my own until I ten years old.
-- Lie
... my favorite part of the day is going to sleep so that I can dream.
-- My dreams kick ass.
... if I ever become a script writer/writer I would write about my dreams.
-- Hell yeah, see the above.
... deep down inside I'm really an attention whore.
-- As much as I don't want to admit this one, I reall do think this is true. Deep down inside everyone there is a little space (or big space cause some people really love attention) that wants attention.
... I consider myself to have less than 15 friends/best friends.
-- True true true. I don't even think I can name 10 friends.
... Gwen Stefani taught me how to spell 'bananas.'
-- Another one that I don't really want to confess to, but it's true.
... I hate MySpace.
-- Confession
... I hate blogging.
-- Confession
... I want to be a psychologist because my patients would be a source of amusement.
-- This is a half confession. I wouldn't really spend half of my life just so that I can obtain a degree to hear people bitch about their lives, that's what livejournal and another other type of blogging sites are for. But if I were to become a psychologist, that would be the reason. I wouldn't do it to help people. God, I'm such a horrible person >.<
... I would marry for money.
-- Money, me likey.
... my dream career is to be a fashion designer.
-- Confession
... I am currently obsessed with Final Fantasy XII.
-- When I made this, yes. At the moment, no. No, you're not going to know what my current obsession is now.
... I used to hate someone that I now consider my best friend.
-- It wasn't necessarily hate ... more of a dislike. Hate makes this confession sound more dramatic.
... half of my friends piss me off most of the time.
-- Half a confession. People, in general, just piss me off. My friends are people so unfortunately they piss me off, sometimes. I think I get more pissed at the fact that I don't know why they piss me off.
... I love to complain.
... I'm a hypocrite.
-- Aren't we all?
... I'm really happy that I changed schools.
-- Half confession, depends on my mood.
... one of my motives for applying for that scholarship to Germany is so that my family would miss me.
-- Maybe? I'd like to know the answer to this too! I don't even know why I want to go Germany. Oh wait, I remembered now. I get an extra year before I have to go college!
... I licked the tops of the soda cans that my grandmother drinks.
--- This is one is kind of gross, right? Well, I only did this once. I got one of the sodas she drinks and licked the top of it and stuck it in the fridge. Then I got thirsty and I just washed it off and ended up drinking it instead.

mokona: (Default)
Okay, since I gave a lot of crap about some of those secrets a while back I think it's only fair that I post up some of my secrets.
Since I'm going to be telling secrets they won't really be secrets anymore, so we'll call them confessions.
Although, there is a catch ... 
Not all of these confessions are real ... or are they?
Most of these "confessions" will be petty confessions. So don't be expecting to get any dirt on me!
Oh yeah, there's a second catch. I'll be kind enough to let you guys guess at which "confessions" are real confessions. You have until my birthday to guess and after my birthday I will tell you if you guess correctly or not. Oh, and if you think most of the confessions are wrong you're also allowed to guess which ones you think are real.
Now ... on with the confessions!
I confess that ...
01. ... I once cheated on a spelling test in second grade -- the word was
02. ... I was never able to brush my hair on my own until I ten years old. 
03. ... my favorite part of the day is going to sleep so that I can dream. 
04. ... if I ever become a script writer/writer I would write about my dreams. 
05. ... deep down inside I'm really an attention whore. 
06. ... I consider myself to have less than 15 friends/best friends.
07. ... Gwen Stefani taught me how to spell 'bananas.'
08. ... I hate MySpace
09. ... I hate blogging. 
10. ... I want to be a psychologist because my patients would be a source of 
11. ... I would marry for money. 
12. ... my dream career is to be a fashion designer.
13. ... I am currently obsessed with Final Fantasy XII.
14. ... I use to hate someone that I now consider my best friend. 
15. ... half of my friends piss me off most of the time. 
16. ... I love to complain.
17. ... I'm a hypocrite. 
18. ... I'm really happy that I changed schools. 
19. ... one of my motives for applying for that scholarship to Germany is so 
          that  my  family would miss me.
20. ... I licked the tops of the soda cans that my grandmother drinks.
Have fun guessing! Don't forget you have until my birthday to send in your guesses!
mokona: (Default)
My lover is going on a trip to ... well I dunno where but they'll be gone for three weeks.
I'm really sad about it because before they left we got in a fight. I don't know what's going to happen when they come back. I don't know if they'll still be mad at or me or what's going on. I really hope we can both forgive each other and that it all works out well in the end. 

While they're gone I won't be able to contact them cause they're going to like super ghetto Asia. No phone, no computer, no letters, so sad. Then while we were fighting I told them that I hoped they got food poisoning while they were away. Truth is, I don't want anything bad happening to that person because I'll still love them even if they hate me. 

In the past we've argued, but this was the worst fight we had. I brought up their past about how their former love cheated on them with some person who was gender confused. Then it all went down hill from there. I don't know what I'll do if they decide to break up with me. I'll be so devastated because they're my everything. There are moments that happen and you really regret what you said and you hope that time could turn back. That was one of them. I keep hoping that once i go to sleep and I wake up that that day were a dream and it would be that same day again. 

I don't even know why I'm posting this on my LJ. It's not like anyone cares or will read this. I really hate everything right now and I feel so sad. I don't know what to do. I'll just really miss my love while they're away. I'll miss them even more because of that fight. I hope that they'll miss me too. Farewell for now and see you again in three weeks.


mokona: (Default)

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